DVD Commentary Meme

[citrinesunset]

I've seen this floating around my flist a lot, and thought it looked fun. :)

DVD Commentary

Go to my Masterlist or (or AO3 page) and pick a passage from my stories, up to 500 words, and comment to this post with that selection (including a link to the story being excerpted will be very helpful). Alternatively, you can randomly pick a number from 1 to ____, my fic as numbered my AO3 account page.

I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the story, awful puns [perhaps], and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track. You can ask me anything - character motivation, writing process, or if you disagree with the direction I took in a story, ask me to defend it.

Comments

[aragarna.livejournal.com]

How about The Lost Work of Marcel Lavigne?
http://citrinesunset.livejournal.com/126670.html

How did you come up with this totally awesome idea?

[citrinesunset.livejournal.com]

First of all, thanks for the compliment! Secondly...hmm. That's a good question. I had to think about that for a bit and jar my memory. I wrote that fic for the WC Reverse Big Bang, and I chose the artwork I did because I love Neal and Mozzie's friendship and thought the photo collage was just screaming for a fic about them scheming and getting into trouble. I think I wanted to do something art-related because some of my favorite moments between them in canon is when they're forging stuff together, and I like that Mozzie seems to be very knowledgeable about art and forgery. Once I decided to set the fic during canon and not in the past, I had to figure out a reason for them to be scheming and forging stuff, since Neal would be unlikely to plot a crime purely for personal gain while he's on his anklet. And I didn't want it to be an FBI-approved con because I thought it would be fun to have Neal and Mozzie's plan go awry.

I don't recall anything in particular giving me the fake artist idea. It occurred to me, and I decided to run with it because I thought it would be interesting and I didn't recall any similar fics. I was initially undecided if I was going to have them create a fake artist or just create a fake painting and try to attribute it to an existing artist. The former just seemed more fun, though. I really struggled with writing the fic, but I loved the idea so much that I didn't want to give up on it. It took a while for me to hammer out the plot and figure out how their plan was going to go wrong.

[nywcgirl]

I think this is a strong story.

From: The devil you know
http://citrinesunset.livejournal.com/123623.html

"What do you want with me?" Neal asked. "What am I going to do for you and Elizabeth, exactly?"

Peter pursed his lips and hesitated. "You're going to be our slave," he said carefully. "You're going to do exactly what you were sold to do."

"Which is...?" Neal's chest was pounding, but he needed to hear it. He needed more of the blunt honesty he'd heard a moment ago.

Peter sighed. "You'll help out around the house as needed. You might keep Elizabeth company when I'm working late. And you'll see to my needs."

"You mean, have sex with you."

"Yes. Neal, you know full well you were being sold as a sex slave. I shouldn't have to spell that out for you."

Neal leaned toward him. "But—but I have skills! I can cook! I know how to take care of a house, and I've worked as a personal assistant. There's a lot I could do."

"I know. But it's not about your abilities. You've only been sentenced to four years, and most people don't want to spend time and money on a cook or servant that they won't be able to keep long-term. And Elizabeth and I are happy to have some help around the house, but there's just the two of us. We don't need that much help. And I'm not going to have you spend the next four years sitting around my house, feeling sorry for yourself and planning God knows what, while I'm paying for your food and clothes. I wouldn't have bought you without a use in mind."

Neal decided to be frank with him. "Look, you're right: I knew I was going to be sold as a sex slave. I can live with that. But the thing is, I'm not interested in men. I told them I was straight, and I assumed they put that in my file. I'm sorry if you didn't know."

They stopped at a red light, and Peter shook his head sadly. "Neal, I'm sorry, but nobody cares who you're attracted to. I assumed they made that clear to you during training, and I'm sorry if this is a surprise to you."

Neal sat back, processing what Peter had just said. Until now, he'd taken for granted that he'd find a way to twist this bout of misfortune to his advantage. Suddenly, he wasn't so sure.

Peter, sensing his unease, reached over and patted his knee.

"Hey, now, chin up. Don't worry; I'll be patient and gentle with you." He smiled. "And right now, we have to get you a new collar. I promised Elizabeth I wouldn't bring you home in that standard-issue thing."

[citrinesunset.livejournal.com]

I was hoping someone would ask me about that fic. :)

My main intention with that scene was to try to establish what type of guy Peter is, and what type of slave owner he was going to be. I wanted to keep Peter as in-character as possible, and I wanted his treatment of Neal here to be not too dissimilar to his attitude toward Neal going to prison in canon. He sees it as fair, and his instinct is to be skeptical of Neal, but he's not heartless, either. Peter doesn't think he's being cruel. He thinks this is normal.

That said, there's some awkwardness for Peter in this scene because while he supports slavery, it's more complicated once he actually has Neal in the car with him. So he starts justifying his intentions a bit. My view of Peter here is that he didn't really have realistic expectations, or a clear idea of how things were going to go down.

Though Neal is kind of shell-shocked in this scene, I see him as more trying to push his luck. He was banking on trying to charm or con his way out of his predicament, and being purchased by Peter ruined that for him.

[nywcgirl]

Thank you for you commentary. I like the fic and it has something that other slave fics dont touch, the fact that the slave has no choice and doesnt always want to do what his master wants.
Keep the timestamps coming.

[citrinesunset.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I definitely intend to write more for the series. I have a few things planned.

And yeah, that conflict was something I really wanted to explore. I get the sense that a lot of people would have had an easier time with the fic if Neal was either more willing or more distressed. But I love slavefics where the characters see the dynamic as normal even if the slave doesn't like it. And that was why I chose to write for that kink meme prompt.